


in bloom

by jj4eva



Category: BLACKPINK (Band)
Genre: F/F, so random pls bear with my mind, uhhhh some people will show up too, various ships - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-12
Updated: 2018-11-30
Packaged: 2019-03-30 09:10:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 6,550
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13948389
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jj4eva/pseuds/jj4eva
Summary: a compilation of blackpink shorts, drabbles and other unfinished stuff i never had the guts to post!!!





	1. roll the dice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> where jisoo is a gamer who doesn't get enough sleep 400+

it’s late.

 

and not just late, but _late_ late and there jennie finds jisoo with her ass still stuck on her computer chair and her eyes glued on one of those various computer games the former couldn’t quite give a name because it’s three in the morning and her eyes are half-lidded from exhaustion.

 

it's the second time this week; and it's barely even wednesday morning.

 

"jisoo-yah," jennie announces her presence in jisoo's pc room half-asleep, her voice is throaty and her hair is just an equal of a mess. "get some sleep,"

 

jisoo could almost not notice, until she was taken by surprise when a seat was dragged next to her and her girlfriend's arms wrapped its way on her slender waist. it's slim and a thought runs on jennie's mind if jisoo is eating the right amount of food. 

 

she chuckles, as if to say she's embarassed being caught red-handed, and plants a kiss on jennie's head now rested on her shoulder.

 

"ah, why is my baby not asleep?"

 

it's getting quite distracting at most, by how jennie's being so clingy like this - with her head nuzzled on the crook of jisoo's neck. she could barely pay attention to her game while jennie is probably continuing her slumber and jisoo could say jennie is comfortable.

 

nevertheless, jisoo is a professional. she had experienced more of her girlfriend's clinginess to a greater extent and it's always like this in the wee hours of the morning when she couldn't just leave her pc room when the clock strikes the late hours.

 

"i'm too tired to be mad. you can stop being that sweet."

 

jennie's voice is still rough but small, still very unlikely to her normal one. she turns her head to peep at the obnoxiously bright LED monitor and wonders how could jisoo stand this too much light?

 

instead of asking, she tugs more on jisoo's wool sweatshirt.  "come to bed with me,"

 

"just a few more minutes," jisoo still holds on to the controller, ignoring jennie's protests with her eyes still very focused. 

 

"please,"

 

jennie practically whines and it's one of jisoo's weaknesses to see her like this, hugging her closer to mold their bodies into one with her puppy eyes, glazed with pure innocence.

 

so with only that, she abandons her computer and carries jennie to their room in an instant and the younger girl is now fast asleep on jisoo's arms, looking more pristine than ever and jisoo lets out a sigh of relief when she kisses her good night.

 

their love is a game she's the most addicted to.


	2. roll the dice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> volleyball au: setter!jen, open spiker!chaeng 500+

Championship point.

 

Jennie hustles the team last minute, proving that she’s the responsible captain that she is. She talks of everything with drive, telling _her_ team that this game is _theirs_ and this is what they deserve – which is all entirely true, as so she says to herself and everybody else.

Many people didn’t think the team would stand a chance, they were the challengers, yes, but they all had waited too long.

Throughout her career, through all of the balls she had tossed up in the air, this is the moment it will all come down. Never in her career she have been this close to get a glimpse of victory, for the past seasons always had them on the bottom of the heap and Jennie loathed it so much but she never did let it wither her eagerness.

It’s her last playing year, anyway – the last and the best of all. All of this would be nothing if it weren’t for Chaeyoung, who came in a form of a miracle she well deserved.

She had waited too long.

 

_This is it._

 

-

 

Chaeyoung’s heart pounds in sync to the bass drum and the people roars noises of applause – all of it she can never get used to.

Biting her nails, it was never a good mannerism but it’s a habit she can’t miss, not now when she feels her legs fragile but just as aggressive when she soars high in effort to deliver the ball on the other side of the net. It’s past a year from being a rookie, the court shaped her to be better, even better than what her seniors and Jennie expected.

Thanks to them, Chaeyoung is able to step foot in this well-known gymnasium, far different from that old, squeaky court with rusted metals they spent hours practicing in.

Her heart will combust any time sooner the game will play further but when Jennie is right there to place a hand on her shoulder or when she feels Jennie’s gaze from the bench speaking thousands of words of comfort she’s able to hear despite the loud crowd – maybe, just maybe – she could get used to it.

 

She could get used to this.

 

-

 

The whistle blows.

 

Everyone holds their hearts in their hands when the ball flies, both teams struggle to keep it alive for a rally that could be the season’s last.

Jennie really hopes it’s the last.

It lands on the hands of the team’s own defense specialist, Jisoo, who receives it with perfect reception she had sharpened through the years.

Jisoo sets it up and delivers the ball to Jennie as planned and it’s the moment of the now or never, and Jennie decides it’ll be the last time she would set up a volleyball playing this black and red jersey she wore with great pride and honor for years.

The setter sees her on the other side of the court, but tosses it with all her might and power she had mustered.

 

It lands on Chaeyoung’s sweet spot Jennie knew all too well.

 

Perfect.

 

Jennie never disappoints. And so does Chaeyoung.

 

 


	3. the silence is deceptive

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> disbandment/future fic, minimal dialogue 1,300+

They didn’t want to grow up.

 

Undergoing years in the show business, the adrenaline was all too much that none of them noticed they were growing up. One morning meeting at the company, like all they thought was any other meeting was the bombshell they awaited and the wake-up call that they are indeed aging and what they were doing is now for the younger years to take over.

It was a rollercoaster ride, after all, but like all things it has to come to an end.

 _“You could re-sign with us again – we’d be happy to accept you, of course.”_   A white paper was on the long wooden table, as the members looked at each other with gazes of evident anticipation. _“Or just let it be, you still get to decide on this. We’ll give you the time to make up your minds.”_

Two of them renewed their contracts without further doubt – the other half of the group seemingly had other plans. 

The people had calmed down at this point, probably already have digested the fact that the group that consisted of four young, talented, ever so elegant women had finally decided to take a life-long hiatus from the limelight.

  
  
(As a group, that is.)

 

-

 

_“We know pretty damn well,”_

 

Jennie had once said. It was January, a month had passed and the snow was heavier than usual when they were at Rosé’s flat, in celebration of the release of her first solo album.

Of course, Rosé was the first to produce a solo album. It was no secret that she was the CEO’s favorite. Korea loved the nation's singing sweetheart, deemed her vocals to be second to none. All her hard work was put into the self-written album, with every song written and recorded in great fervor and perseverance and boy, did those tracks top the Korean charts – Billboard, even.  
  
Lisa was the most encouraging of Rosé's thriving success – that’s what you expect of someone like her – and was the happiest as well. Reportedly, she was spotted coming home to Rosé's apartment: a penthouse housing more of Rosé's life than Lisa, who spends majority of her time and leisure back to her hometown running a dance studio, continuing the legacy of her clothing line and coping up some appearances in Thai Television too.  
  
Albeit the hectic schedule and not to mention the other amends to be made, coming back to Korea every time Rosé makes a comeback isn't much of an inconvenience for someone like Lisa, unlike the remaining members of the group.

The former is nowhere to hear the imminent conversation. _“Why don’t you just tell her?”_

 

_“It’s not what you guys think,”_

 

Lisa would always say. Jennie thinks it’s all just unbelievable.

 

-

 

The main rapper of the group is nowhere to be found.

 

Again.

 

 Although not at least less than a year ago, when she came back to Korea for Rosé's birthday party and only that made a raging avalanche of articles about Jennie Kim's return.

Attended by Rosé's close friends and acquaintances from work, the party was fun. There was alcohol, people were dancing all night to the booming sound of EDM, the lights were amazing – everyone had a nice evening. The only coincidence was one [1] principal visitor decided not to show up when Jennie did (although it wasn’t explicitly stated, the excuse was believable to anyone but the younger members, for the other member, she couldn’t care less).  
  
The media got no scoop of where Jennie is now, her public social media isn't much of a help either. The rest went downhill from there and for quite some time, Jennie vanished herself from being the talk of the town.  
  
She is still seen responding on their private group chat but she remains just as still and tranquil, saying greetings, leaving a read mark, as if that would suffice her friends' separation anxiety. The younger ones would ask her if she's okay or if she's eating her meals on time in an attempt to not feel the growing gap on their table like all things trivial but asking where in the world she is – that’s not a question to ask.

  
And honestly, no one knows. But what they do know is that Jennie wouldn't tell. So they leave that part out.

(It’s for the better. Or so they thought.)  
  
Antarctica, Timbuktu or in an outlying tropical island she bought for her own good – she could be anywhere else. Or even perhaps she altered into a mafia boss who manages retailing illegal weapons in her sleep.

  
  
It's almost hilarious because all of those things are not impossible.

 

-

 

The members knew Jisoo have always had a different itch to scratch.

 

Acting was her thing, even back then when she was paying the bills with CFs from pre-debut. She had done countless of them, had several cameos here and there but a casting for a lead role – apparently, being in the group hindered her from that ambition largely by the reason of an asshat misogynist who goes by the title of being the CEO of their company.  
  
Jisoo is still within reach, that's for certain, if talking about how close they are in the proximity of the Republic of Korea.

(Rosé and Lisa would be lying if they said they haven't felt her more distant than ever.)  
  
She's engulfing herself to work, taking in roles after roles ever since she officially made her acting debut. Her friends rarely see her in person but unfailingly on prime time television and SNS.

She is _trusted_ to be engaged to her so-called boyfriend, Jinyoung, to work out a relationship that’s able to hold water that will benefit each other’s careers. It does seem to be effectual for months now, thanks to their agencies’ settlements.

Jinyoung was never Jisoo’s type – or any of the male species for that matter – it’s just that her new company suggested it would be a good idea to fasten ties with two of the most eminent individuals in the media sphere. 

Jisoo’s schedule certainly is the most frantic out of all the members (excluding the other particular member since no one knows what she’s up to) but she makes sure to keep the other girls posted about what has happened in her life and at times they don't even need to pry because for sure, if it's Kim Jisoo, the visual of her generation, it's already in the headlines.

 

-

  
  
Another coincidence (not anymore) unveils and the game of hide-and-seek prolongs when it was March – Lisa’s birthday month.

The birthday girl arranges a dinner for four people, set in one of Thailand's best restaurants that overlook the whole city. A familiar sight for the team, knowing they had been there countless times before.  
  
Jisoo made the effort to book tickets earliest and immediately when Lisa brought it up in the group and after that, guess what? Only three of them made it. And it’s just a hunch, but Lisa supposes the actress’ presence resulted to another member’s absence.

 _For every action, there’s an equal opposite reaction._ __  
  
They were okay at first. Promised themselves that the group's break-up wouldn't break up their mutual attachments. Even so they were happy – carrying the difficulty to adjust, day by day they learned to accept their faith and decided to move on as girl group members to be the people who they wanted to be on their own.  
  
Now two years later, there's a big, enormous lack of communication, the younger ones kept their conversations to their own private messages and the other two refuse to talk to each other. There's a problem beyond question that no one wants to fix. One of Rosé and Lisa would, but what's alarming is they do not know what the problem is in particular.  
  
They let it go, as time passes it becomes bearable and all of them went on to their own avenues, pretending everything is okay.

 

 Pretending they're okay with whatever this is, now that they are conditioned to mistake a dilemma for a complication that will sort itself out.


	4. aisle five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> pharmacist!jisoo and a crying chaeng comes in the store 1,500+/poorly proofread

jisoo never liked medicines.

she despised drinking cough syrups, vitamins were almost unbearable - chewables are an exception - injections and shots - god, she loathed them. needles were okay and it never was on the list - a memory passes of when she was seven, showing off her classmates a finger with little to no calloused skin sewn of needles, jisoo made an effort to work on a whole period of basic maths and her mother, as well as her homeroom teacher, would give her a piece of her own bizarre mind - much more to them wondering how the hell did an elementary student sneaked needles in her school bag?

(her mother's scolding fit would have to extend until dinner.)

but that's all another story to tell. jisoo has time, indeed, as a pharmacist on a night shift, but that's a far more distant topic looking back years of her childhood.

the sun had been sleeping long opposite to her when the clock reads a quarter after one in the morning, the city never sleeps and so does this drugstore, set foot somewhere along the streets of the restless city.

as said and proving that jisoo is a walking oxymoron, she's a pharmacist.

eight years of being stuck in med school and after a whole agitating year struggling to wear off the post-college anxiety plus the numerous infuriating job applications - she had finally landed on the road to a stable life by acquiring a stable job. it's two train stops away from home but it's better than nothing, better than her living off her mother when she's nearly on her late twenties. it's normal, but jisoo is a stubborn child who promised herself (and her mother) she'd buy her own apartment the moment she earns enough paychecks to afford never coming back to the nest.

customers come thin when it's after ten, that when she's lucky, twelve when it's weekends and for some reason everyone just had to simultaneously buy their maintenance in the middle of the night. tonight, a monday night or frankly a tuesday morning - whichever of the two - the place is empty and she feels like a tumbleweed in a desert.

the bell dings in such long intervals, jisoo can't see anything beyond the entrance but empty pavement with minimal cars strolling by in silence. it's cashier night for jisoo, an assignment she have never had a liking for, solely by the reason of having poor social skills but she's a bit grateful not having to deal with a huge tide of locals and city people coming in the store.

"you pretty much know how to handle this so, you know, just knock if ever you need help yeah?" joohyun said hesitantly, albeit this favor have been asked one too many times before. the pharmacist can only reckon she's been making out with seulgi or doing god-knows-what.

jisoo could only nod from the aisle where she was initially stacking newly-delivered analgesics and heads behind the counter with no other option. besides, compared to them, she's just a few months old in this store. joohyun is kind and so is seulgi, and maybe this her own sort of practicum, so there's no need to question the authority.

always been like that.

joohyun asks, jisoo complies and the customers won't be coming in sooner than four in the morning.

oh well, not always.

fifteen minutes after two, the bell dings for what it seemed like forever and there, a girl bursting through the doors (plural since it's a two-way one, but the girl managed pushing both with no struggle). the pharmacist perks up, fixing her posture, ready to welcome the new customer.

the new customer . . . jisoo would say she's not like the others, as much as how rubbed of a description that is and believe her when she says she's not into cliches.

"hello! how can i help-" the pharmacist greets too enthusiastically for the night air to be this monotonous but cut off when the girl starts spluttering her words.

"i'm finding- looking for this medicine- uhm, but there's a problem- a big one, actually, it's just that i don't know what it's called and it's my fault and i don't know what to do-" her hair is looking more like a bird nest as if she had just woken up, her voice is throaty, too, but still so soft despite literally stuttering her words and jisoo could barely keep up. she's in her silk pajamas, one colored with the prettiest shade of pink and donning a pair of specs hanging on just the right position of her nose bridge.

the girl's silent cry alarms her that it wasn't the right time to give her a once-over. "hey, please calm down. i won't be able to help you if i can't understand what you're saying,"

jisoo lets her to cry a bit more, obviously since she has all the time in the world and isn't holding the line for anyone so there - she cries for a few good minutes and jisoo grabs a water bottle from her bag her mother had tucked in.

"here,"

"t-thank you," she breathes, jisoo notices her knuckles are white from clutching on her wallet out of the emotions. "so, uhm, i don't know what the medicine is, i don't have the doctor's prescription either-"

the pharmacist cuts her off before the imminent stuttering. "do you know what it looks like? is it a syrup, tablet or a capsule?"

"it's a syrup and uh, i think it's for kids, since my niece's only 7 years old, she takes it in the morning and once again at night. we buy it every month,"

"do you, perhaps, have bought this medicine before? if so, you can just give me the receipt and i can get it for you,"

her face lights up in a moment but returns to the same emotion when she tries to think as she rummages through her wallet with series of little pieces of paper and some bills and coins here and there.

 _cute_. jisoo thinks.

"i found it!" the girl beams and it's the polar opposite from her reactions earlier that the pharmacist found herself smiling.

"great, i'll be getting it just a sec,"

with a muttered thanks and a smile that will totally wear her face off, the girl is suddenly in a change of mood and jisoo is on a roll on finding this customer so adorable.

so yes, this customer is different from the others. for months, she had never encountered someone coming in crying, not only that but she also happens to be utterly gorgeous. continuing the search, jisoo still found herself glancing back to her, only to be embarrassed when she realizes the girl is already staring at her.

jisoo could only smile.

it was when jisoo came back to the cashier when she starts to talk again.

"i'm sorry," the girl starts and hands the payment to jisoo, and there she goes again with her voice dripping with honey, jisoo is wondering what would sound like if it were to be the voice that will sing her to sleep. "you probably don't get much people here having a breakdown at this hour,"

jisoo chuckles and pretends she had just not feel her heartstrings pulled. "we don't get much customers when it's two in the morning, miss,"

"two in the morning?" the realization hits the customer and the pharmacist looks up seeing her so lost. even more lost than earlier when she came in. "i've been studying too much- i fell asleep and i didn't even notice the time!"

"i could tell," jisoo says, one last time when she gives her the receipt. "i hope your niece gets well soon!"

"thank you miss-" the girl looks at the name tag. "miss jisoo,"

the pharmacist felt her heart throb by the mention of her name. "a-ah, yes, please come again!"

at this point, the girl would probably notice how she's getting so flustered but she giggles and it's like the sound of when a fairy is born. "of course."

jisoo is still smiling when she leaves, and she still is after an hour and joohyun had come out to check on the products, witnessing how jisoo is looking as if she's in cloud nine.

"what's up?"

her voice breaks her little reverie, jisoo is suddenly attentive by the presence of her senior. "nothing, unnie,"

"eh?" joohyun continues her inspection by the aisles. "you probably had a cute customer, huh?"

"oh! u-uhm, not real-" jisoo tries to make up an excuse, completely dumbfounded.

"tsk, tsk, it's fine, kid. you know i can always assign you to the cashier if you want." irene cuts her off with a hand on her shoulder. "i'll go check some new products and their doses."

doses.

 _she takes it in the morning and once again at night. we buy it every month_.

a month.

looks like waiting for another four weeks wouldn't be too bad.

 

 


	5. slam dunk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jenlisa basketball au 300+/lol i speed wrote this im sorri nd yh i kinda love sports

“So _you’re_ telling me,” Jisoo is laid back on the team’s bench, tired as she is with a Gatorade in hand, “that new Manoban girl threw you off in a one-on-one tune up?”

Eyes ever so aggressive, Jennie has her vision locked on one girl in this basketball court. And that is the newest recruit, Lisa Manoban. As the point guard, she’s basically the leader of the team’s attacks. Like the general of an armada, only except she has only 4 players by her side. The offensive play is the backbone of a winning game and effective communication is the key for a play to be put into success.

For Jennie, it’s essential to have this invisible connection with your teammates on and off the court. On the court, so that the play she has in her head will be applied with great accuracy, off the court, simply because she has to gain her teammates’ trust. Otherwise, the plays she has in her mind would not be found potent, if not useless.

But when this new Thai girl, everyone in the team was so enthusiastic about, stepped foot in Jennie’s fortress, suddenly she wasn’t so very friendly or welcoming.

“Don’t push it, Kim,” the grip on her bottle tenses by the recollection from Friday afternoon, “it was just practice,”

At that moment Jisoo is not getting the hint of shutting up, and will probably ridicule the hell out of Jennie until later, so she settles on leaving and hitting the showers but stopped when the footsteps of said newest recruit becomes prominent to their direction.

It’s only been a day when Jennie realizes something that minimal annoys her, for some reason.

“Were you guys talking about me?”

It came out a little less inquisitive than overbearing for Jennie, making her presence even more annoying before she came over. Then she realizes this girl is better away from her. Or she might just strangle her, _had it not been for the laws of their land._

“You wish,”

“Come on, Jennie- _unnie_ , I thought we had something _special_ when you tripped and fell on top of me last week!”

 “Now, that’s even more interesting!”

Her cheeks are heated up, from the anger, embarrassment or what else. Jennie doesn’t know, but Jisoo’s laugh coordinates with Lisa’s, and God; she never wanted to commit a crime this badly than before.

 


	6. 300

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jennie sums up the way she feels for jisoo in five minutes, angst. 2100+

The first minute happened a week before the month of December.

Winter began relentless of the streets, showering it coated in thin sheets of white snow. No matter how badly the weather was that day, how fuzzy the feeling was, how the clouds appeared to come down the pavement—Jennie remembered the day vivid like it was a tilt shift focused only on that one girl.

Insanely as she was so beautiful, Jennie couldn’t help remember.

Her hair. Her eyes. The heart shaped lips, the way she smiled, the way she talked. Everything about her Jennie thought of with detailed observations.

The first minute was all on about how the world seemed to stop spinning, frozen as if the sun wasn’t anything and it was the first sixty seconds of a girl named Kim Jisoo came about Jennie Kim’s life.

“Hi, I’m Jisoo,”

A hand in between them, Jennie says her first hello within the minute, “I’m Jennie.”

It starts from that and minutes became hours, became days then months, then years. It starts from one minute and it leads to so much more.

\-----

The second happens and it was a few weeks after. It was the aftermath of evaluations and the both of them received pleasing results and positive compliments from everyone else.

“I can’t believe it, Jen! We did it!” Jisoo was ecstatic, reasonably. It was her first; of course it was something to be celebrated.

Jennie had just opened their dorm room, one they had shared less than a week after meeting each other. “And we still need to do it again or better the next month, unnie.”

The older of the two throws herself on their conjoined beds and looks at the ceiling with a silly smile she couldn’t take off.

Across the room Jennie could get a glimpse of how she was the first time she was complimented by their trainers, she sees the same way her eyes shined against the light because of genuine happiness and it makes her smile, too, but she brushes it off and focuses on preparing their instant noodles as awards for themselves.

It skips a second within the second minute and Jisoo suddenly wraps her arms around Jennie’s waist, her body pressed against the younger as she buries her nose against the soft surface of her skin.

“Thank you,” she murmurs and hugs her tighter with no such thing as space in between them, “I couldn’t do this without you,”

It tugs on Jennie’s heartstrings softly, gently, and it was a minute of nothing but only her and Jisoo in the very limited space of their room that they will eventually call their home because the four corners itself feels like everything both of them are made up of. 

Sixty seconds flows like sand in Jisoo’s embrace, quickly the moment vanishes and by another minute it was them eating instant noodles with wooden disposable chopsticks, burning their lungs laughing about the silliest things and by another hour it’s them doing skin care together and brushing their teeth, and by another day it’s another dance class in the practice room while they secretly show each other the wackiest of their faces when their instructor looks the other way around.

Another month on to another month and it’s only Jennie and Jisoo and Jisoo and Jennie in their own world, focusing on nothing but training and on themselves as they both strive together and fight each other’s problems with their ability.

Time was unmeasurable as it is, but it’s quick on pace just like the way Jennie found herself so high on Jisoo’s presence and by any day she could feel herself free falling into the void where she can see herself and Jisoo as something more than what they are now.

Only except she didn’t look back to see if Jisoo let herself fall with her.

\----

It was as if time turned itself back on Jennie when something, or rather _someone_ came into the picture months later.

Three minutes. Park Chaeyoung, the Aussie girl with the guitar, introduces herself as the only trainee who made it against four hundred people on the Sydney auditions.

She was indeed, an angel. With angel-like features and an angel-like personality and her voice just serves as the halo on top of a literal angel.

Everyone in the training pool was immersed on her charm, no matter if they were threatened or simply just interested on being her friend—Chaeyoung was fast to have everyone wrapped around her fingertips.

That including Jisoo.

The third minute, Jennie felt less as the main character of her own life and more of a part of an audience. She sees the scenes unfold exactly the way how it was written in the script, like it was ever so natural.

Three trays are set on to the table, Jisoo is sitting across her, which is unlikely and never before done but Jennie holds back the question when she sees said Aussie girl with the guitar approach their table.

“Hi! I’m Chaeyoung!”

Jennie starts chewing on her food slowly and with great focus, distracting herself from the tiny pinch on her heart seeing Jisoo seating side by side with somebody else. “Oh, hey,”

“She’ll be seating with us from now on!”

Jisoo talks to Chaeyoung on how she needs to try every food on the menu of the cafeteria as she explains every meal with great adjectives while digging on to her own dinner while Jennie felt hers coming back up her throat. Her appetite is chewed on to nothingness.  

“You okay, J?”

“Yeah,” she lies and smiles, both to the girls across the table. “I think I’ve had enough of rice for today, I’m going to bed.”

“But you’ve only finished like less than half of your food!” Jisoo exclaims, concern is painted all over her face but Jennie can’t right now as her thoughts become beyond controllable and it’s making her head spin.

“It’s fine.”

For a minute there, it’s almost as if it’s nothing of significance—it was just simple dinner with the new girl, nothing that much—except it wasn’t.

In a running game, there’s always the starting line. The players start to prepare themselves, then run along the track. Everyone will eventually stop looking at the starting line. But the race wouldn’t start in the first place if there was no point of starting.

Like the race, that one night was the starting line of something.

Jennie was ahead of her time with her advanced thinking, and she proves herself right a few weeks or so after.

Maybe it was because she became fond of Jisoo to pay attention to her every action, maybe she just knows Jisoo like the back of her hand that she can sense change coming on to where they are right now.

Nevertheless, change is still inevitable. And inevitably the way Jisoo’s face lit up the first time she saw Chaeyoung, it becomes something more. It turns into Jennie staring at Jisoo who’s staring at Chaeyoung who’s focused on playing random chords on her guitar. The enthusiasm Jisoo feels around Chaeyoung’s presence becomes Jisoo craving for Chaeyoung’s attention, and everything else just _changes_.  

Chaeyoung becomes more and more to Jisoo and Jennie feels more and more to her.

Again, in the midst of this imaginary race, Jennie started feeling left behind.

\---

Jennie didn’t want to be selfish when the fourth minute came.

As a personal opinion, this minute was the most frustrating part of this sequence of events.

Growing up without any physical disability, Jennie couldn’t quite speak for the more challenged people lacking of physical attributes. But when she felt so paralyzed for this minute, it was rather the truth.

It was the first snow of another year. It was about the right time to just let out all of the things Jennie had been feeling these past few months, only if she’s lucky to put everything in it into the best choice of words as possible.

She checks the weather beforehand with her practiced confession along with her and looks for Jisoo among the other trainees. The clock reads only seven in the evening and a close mutual friend of them says she’s out in the garden.

 _Perfect._ Jennie had thought—the snow will fall in just about a few minutes.

Prior the fourth minute, she runs along the hallways and the small road to the mentioned garden, and there the first second of the sixty seconds ticks.

The Earth stopped again. Jennie learns that it tends to happen just like before. But this time, for sixty seconds Jennie felt trapped in ice like the earth stopped spinning with her and she feels herself powerless, useless, paralyzed right on the spot where she sees Park Chaeyoung leaning in to connect her lips with the best friend Jennie realizes she’s in love with.

Everything stops in fourth minute. Maybe Jennie’s cold heart did too.

She wanted to ruin it. She wanted to scream, to shout—to tell Chaeyoung that Jisoo is hers and hers only, but Jisoo herself was the one to stop Jennie on her tracks when she kisses Chaeyoung back.

Jennie felt so numb. It was as if it was the longest sixty seconds of her life and it’s nothing but imminent pain to her if not emptiness. She was so crippled and by every second that passes it’s nothing but another punch to her gut and a kick to her shins except she felt the pain building up and she feels it coming all in one go  to attack her to the ground.

Then again, she’s right, it hits her after and the world then again started its rotation and time is flowing again but she’s stuck on one place, unable to move her weak legs.

Luckily it was about time, Jennie came to her senses again and she does her most to escape this pain so she runs.

She runs until she felt every inch of her body ache, until her lungs felt falling into the ground and her breath is unreachable to breathe.

\---

The fifth and the last: they talk. Finally, for the love of God.

It’s too complex to just write the context, but for this it’s better in dialogue than all four.  

“I’m sorry.”

This was Jisoo. Saying sorry. Apologizing, for the universe knows what. The first seconds, it’s silent. Inexplicably, both of them were wasting time as this point.

“There’s nothing to be sorry about.”

That was Jennie. Playing not hurt. As if she didn’t complete that little of a response without any difficulty. Things aren’t really always what they seem.

“You know...”

“What?” Still Jennie. Still pretending. Still can’t look Jisoo in the eyes. “Come on, Jisoo, tell me. You wanted to talk.”

(Jisoo was the one who reached out days of no means of communication with Jennie.)

“I don’t know, J.” The older of the two inches closer to Jennie, “you tell me, you’ve been avoiding me for two weeks! And we’re roommates! I don’t know how it happened but please—“

The tears now fall heavily on Jisoo’s cheeks.  

“ _Please_ tell me where did I go wrong?”

Jennie can’t turn to her. She despises seeing the only girl she loved (she still _loves_ ) cry and what more, it’s because of her own doing.

Jisoo continues to sob, and by then she couldn’t help herself hug Jennie from behind and with muffled tears and whispers she says, “I miss my best friend,”

 _Best friend_. Such a simple compound of words but it sends Jennie to the edge.

“That’s all I ever am to you, right?”

Jennie wouldn’t want anyone knowing this, but her own tears are bordered along her eyelids and she’s trying her best not to break down, because all of this is just nothing. It’s all useless now. It’s all too late.

 “I’m in love with you, Jisoo.” 

“W-What?”

Again. It’s useless. Jisoo can never love Jennie the way she does and she knows it.

“I’m in love with you, Kim Jisoo. I love you. And all of this—it’s nothing now. I know you don’t feel the same way and I can’t stay being friends with you—because—I’ll only keep coming back to square one, you will still send butterflies in my stomach and you’ll only keep getting me head over heels for you and I’m tired,”

Everything spins again.

“I love you. But I’m also nothing but your best friend. And I know that’s all I’m ever going to be.”

The minute comes to an end.

 


	7. be my mistake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> chaeng/li/jen cheating fic 200+

Lisa fucking hates pillow talk.

“Why don’t you just leave her?”              

She heaves a sigh and closes her eyes for a second too long for the girl lying beside her, pretending to conceal every sound coming from her surroundings. Jennie’s caramel voice, some sirens down below and the music of the city under the stars.

_I love her._

It’s easy to tell Jennie how much she loves Chaeyoung.

It’s so easy to lie, because loving Chaeyoung did not mean she needed another woman to spend the night with one or too many times.

“Lisa,”

Jennie calls out in the dark but Lisa’s eyes remain on the ceiling, just wondering how life would be if she didn’t fuck it up so bad.

She starts thinking of Chaeyoung now. Like so, every time she finishes a round with Jennie. It’s so unfair. _I’m so unfair_.  

The guilt tightens her throat, her own lies ring and pound on her ears and her eyes rewind all of her good memories with Chaeyoung – how she’s so kind. So precious. So good. Too good for Lisa’s sake.

But she meets her beautiful mistake, she was carried away. Her solution. Lisa was in too deep. Too addicted to detach herself from the feeling that only Jennie could bring.

_I can never imagine my life without her._

Truthfully, it is not easy to imagine your life with the woman you wanted to spend your whole life with.

With the woman you _vowed_ to spend your life with.

Lisa chokes out a cry.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> hiatus. thanks for everything.


End file.
